I raised a trembling hand and poised the sharp blade above my wrist. Somehow, I always thought I would get better before it came to this. If I had just listened I wouldn’t be in this position, but words weren’t enough. My blackened soul longed to be set free from the desolate world and carried up above the petty ventures of mankind and their malicious methods. All of my emotions crashed down upon me; my eyes, that had kept it back for so long, the wall came crumbling down letting the tears fall freely down my frozen cheeks. I used to believe in that light at the end of the tunnel, that thing that they tell you about hope for tomorrow. However, as each tomorrow came to pass in mournful sorrow, each minute seeming like an eternity while waiting for salvation, I lost all hope of ever seeing the light again. I was ready to embrace the calamity and sensible silence that death offered me in exchange for the insignificant price of my life. I was ready for the end.
The cold metal caressed my skin and I pressed down, my shaking fingers making it difficult to hold the tiny, slender blade. It was too cold, much too cold for my liking, but hey, I don’t give a fuck anymore. My slender fingers looked deprived of oxygen in the freezing air, breath seeming like smoke before my eyes. But all of these things were secondary to what I wanted to do. With quiet acceptance, I yanked the blade to the right and bit my lip to keep noise from escaping. I yanked again and watched with sick satisfaction as the skin was cleaved into two different parts that could be opened and walls of flesh like steep canyon cliffs shooting down until it hits a valley of bone.
Blood trickled from the wound, slowly at first, then faster and dripped into the water below. It created almost a second stream inside the real one, a tiny trickle of blood rushing down the middle of the grey ripples. The blood loss was slowly starting to have its way with me, blurring my vision almost to the point of blindness. I could barely feel the slim piece of metal, still pinched between my finger and my thumb but still I went on. One more, two more, three more, I felt as if I could never stop my descent into the clutches of nothing. I wobbled slightly, losing control of my extremities and a moment later my head hit something, pain shooting cruelly through my head. Water rushed by me at a quick speed. Death was there in front of me; at long last I had found my salvation.